


Just a children's game

by Lakritzwolf



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: childhood in Ered Luin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 23:02:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3587325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lakritzwolf/pseuds/Lakritzwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Children’s games, a look at happy, carefree days in Ered Luin</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a children's game

“I'm the King under the Mountain!”  
“No way, you're always the King under the Mountain!”  
“That's because I am the King under the mountain! I have the crown!”

Dís, while polishing the last bits of tableware for the celebration of Durin's Day, cast a look out of the kitchen door with a smile. All the boys had already gathered into a merry gaggle and were playing everyone's favourite game.

Thorin joined her, leaning into the door frame, and lit himself a pipe. “What's that on Fili's head?” He asked, eyeing the contraption made of sticks tied together with string that was sitting rather askew in Fili's hair.  
Dís chuckled. “That is the Raven Crown of Erebor.”  
“I should have recognized it,” Thorin gave back and chuckled as well.

The King under the Mountain had positioned himself in front of the gates of Erebor, or woodshed to those who were not members of the royal court, as it were. Beside him, his younger brother, prince and right hand made a very good impression at mimicking Dwalin guarding Thorin, scowling fiercely at everyone. 

“And then the dragon attacks!”  
“No we have to rally our forces...”  
“But that's because the dragon attacks!”  
“Right, so the dragon attacks and Fili...”  
“King Fili!”  
“Thank you, brother.”  
“So then King Fili calls the forces to fight the Dragon!”

“Ori!” Fili stood on tip-toe and yelled at the top of his lungs. “Did you find the dragon yet?”  
“We're coming!” Came Ori's voice from behind the stable. “Dragon!! DRAGOON!”

And Ori, the scout, came running around the corner, yelling and waving his arms about, followed by Bifur’s old boar hound, the most gentle and friendly creature ever bred. Long ago, he had given up on trying to make her do what she had been bred for; rather, she turned out to be a loyal friend to the wounded toymaker and was very good with dwarflings.

“Dragooooon!” Ori staggered forward, eyes wide in terror, followed by the boar hound wagging her tail.  
“DRAGON!” Fili yelled at the top of his lungs. “To me, my warriors! Defend the gates! Erebor must not fall!”

Thorin and Dís exchanged a glance that was part wistful, part amused.

The army of Erebor rallied, consisting of Fili, Kili, Ori, Eikar and Eikin; the sons of the tanner, and Gimli. And Roda, the tanner's daughter, who as usual, was wielding a stick like the boys, pretending it to be a sword.

“And I am the warrior princess of Ered Luin!” She yelled at the top of her lungs. “And I am going to kill the dragon!”  
“But if you are the princess or Ered Luin...” Gimli dropped his sword, and the game ground to a halt. 

“But if you're the warrior princess of Ered Luin then you can't come out of Erebor with us!”  
“But... oh all right!” Roda re-positioned herself. “But I thought I get attacked by the pale orc!”  
“And the pale orc attacks you on the road so that's not here in Erebor!”  
“Actually there never was a princess in Ered Luin...” Ori interjected, cautiously, but was ignored.

Roda crossed her arms with a pout. “But I want to fight the dragon too!”  
“That's not fair!” Kili shrieked. “You can't fight the pale orc and the dragon!”  
“I'm the warrior princess and I can fight as many monsters as I want!”

“No no, we can just...” Fili righted the crown on his head and stepped between Gimli and Roda. “So what if the warrior princess is on her way to Erebor and gets attacked by the pale orc and we all can fight the pale orc and the orcs and the dragon?”

Affirmative yelling and shrieks of joy answered his majesty's proposal as Smaug sat down on her hind legs and scratched one ear with her paw.

“And Gimli is the pale orc,” Fili concluded.  
“No I don't want to be the pale orc every time! I have to be the stupid pale orc every time!”  
“Then Eikar is the pale orc because he's tallest.”  
“You can be the pale orc, you're never the pale orc!”  
Fili gave his friend a haughty look. “That's because I am the King!”  
”But Master Balin said the pale orc was never at Erebor...” Ori looked back and forth, then shrugged when he was ignored.

After a bit of haggling they agreed on Eikar being the pale orc after all.

“And then I am on my way to Erebor to marry the king,” Roda said as she retreated towards the stable. “And you attack me, and the dragon attacks Erebor.”  
“And I will try to kidnap you and marry you so you cook for me in Dog Luldul...”  
“That would have been Dol Guldur...” Ori offered.  
Eikar stuck his tongue out at him. “Whatever. And...”  
“I am not going to cook for you, you stinking pale orc!” Roda lifted her sword again and in unspoken agreement, the game continued. 

“Dragon!” Ori yelled again and got the dog on her feet again who joined the screaming children, tail wagging and tongue lolling.  
“Dragon!” Kili and Fili, followed by Gimli and Eikin, sallied from the gates of Erebor to attack the horrible beast.

“You will never reach the kingdom alive, warrior princess!” The pale orc positioned himself between the warrior princess of Ered Luin and the gates of Erebor that was currently under attack from a tail-wagging dragon.

Thorin inhaled deeply and watched the children with a smile while Dís beside him was still polishing that one plate.  
“We sure could have used such a warrior princess at Azanulbizar,” Dís stated as she watched Roda attack the older and taller boy with her stick. She was, in fact, attacking Eikar so viciously that the pale orc was in serious trouble to be trapped between the forces of Erebor and Ered Luin.

“Attack!!” Fili yelled, adjusting his crown and waving his sword. Behind him, the forces of Erebor rallied for another attack at the dragon. Yipping, the dog hopped back and forth and finally, gently urged by Ori, fell over and played dead as the army of Erebor nudged her with sticks to make sure the dragon was and stayed dead.

Within the victorious joy, the King realised that the warrior princess was not done beating her foe yet. 

“To me, my hordes!” The pale orc yelled, rounding the chickens and shooing them towards the warrior princess. “Attack! Leave the King to me!”  
“You will not end the line of Durin, you filth!” Roda screamed and attacked again.

“Scattering the evil hordes like chicken,” Thorin chuckled.  
Dís snorted softly. “I have to admit I prefer them not to scare my chickens that much but the laugh is certainly worth it.”

“Wait, you're not of the line of Durin!” Kili crawled over the dog sprawled on her back. “You're from Ered Luin!”  
“No, but I will be a princess of Durin's line when I marry the King!”  
“You marry the King?” Fili appeared behind the dog and got up, adjusting his crown. “But I thought I already have a queen?”

Arms akimbo, Roda pointed the stick at him. “But we said I will be queen of Erebor!”  
“No we didn't!”Kili interjected.  
“Yes we did!”  
“Did not!”  
“Did too!”

“Stop!” Fili drew himself up to his full height. “The King of Erebor shall be honoured to have such a valiant warrior princess as his queen!”

Using the distraction of his enemies to his advantage, the pale orc attacked the warrior princess again. “You will die!”

Roda managed to surprise not only her playmates but Dís and Thorin too. She threw herself flat onto the ground as the sword swung past her and jumped up again behind her enemy who had been brought off balance. 

“No, you will die, you filth!” Roda screamed and prodded Eikar with her stick in the back. “Die!”  
Eikar staggered, spat and groaned, fell to the ground and died in a horrible gurgle as Roda impaled him on her stick for good measure.

“Attack!” Fili extended his own stick and led his troops to battle again, scattering the last remaining orcish forces who had hitherto been clucking and aggressively scratching the dirt. 

“Erebor is saved!” He then yelled when the last remnants of the pale orc's army had retreated to the hen house. “Erebor is saved!”  
Roda tossed her hair back with a fierce scowl and sheathed her sword. Fili approached her with a bow, lost his crown, picked it up again, put it back on his head and bowed again.

“My princess. I will be honoured if you would be my queen to rule at my side.”  
Roda bowed. “I shall be honoured, oh King under the Mountain!”

Victorious exultation rang out around the Lonely Mountain and with a soft laugh, Dís vanished into the kitchen to emerge again moments later with a platter full of sweet breads. 

“ _Amad?_ ” Fili adjusted his crown and looked up at her.  
“ _Thanu men_ ,” Dís said gravely. “The head cook has prepared this feast to celebrate your victory and your wedding to the Warrior Princess of Ered Luin.”  
Fili took the plate and bowed. “You have our thanks, faithful servant of the court.”

Thorin suppressed a snort as Dís positioned herself at his side again and knocked the ash out of his pipe. 

In the yard, the victorious forces of Erebor now duly celebrated the death of Smaug and the pale orc (whose body had been removed by the captain of the guards who had then joined the banquet) and the wedding of the King under the Mountain to the Warrior Princess of Ered Luin.


End file.
